I'm a firm believer that every thing happens for a reason, but what I don't do very well with is the waiting around to realize what that reason is; now that I have realized what was meant to come from my accident at work I am much more at peace with myself and with God.
Back in November of 2010 I was injured at work by a Labrador Retriever which was chasing another dog and happened to run into my right knee on his way. I was alone when the accident happened, and I can honestly say that that day was probably the scariest days of my adult life. I was in instant agonizing pain lying on cold concrete, and this dog that just caused my pain was jumping on top of me licking me and trying to understand what was going on, for fear he would hurt me more I dragged my self into one of the large dog runs nearest to me. All I could think of was " Oh my God what has happened to my leg... why does it hurt so much and why cant I bend it?" I shut the gate and held it closed firmly with my good leg to keep the two dogs that were now just running loose from jumping on me. I sat there in disbelief at the whole situation. My first inclination was to scream for help... but who would have herd me on a Sunday morning on an empty street, I had forgotten about the phone that sat beside me for a split second. Shortly after realizing the phone was by my side I quickly phoned my fiance who had no later than 15 minuets ago just dropped me off at work. He came to my rescue and after phoning my boss to cover my shift I was taken to the emergency room.
Since that day I have had to under go two knee surgeries and am still in recovery from the last which was two weeks ago, but by far the hardest thing I have had to go through was an emotional out break of anger, fear, and having to rely on someone else for everything. I, being a very independent person had a really hard time dealing with this, it hurt my pride and my self esteem. The hardest thing was getting past the fact that my boss, and his wife really didn't seem to care much about what happened to me in THEIR place of business, after everything that I had done for them and their business I was never really compensated for my pain. At first my boss would call me everyday at first to check in on me, but then his calls were nothing but complaints of how it was so hard with out me and that he really needed me and he didn't know what he was going to do without me, sounds flattering I know, but it was nothing but frustrating because he laid me off shortly after the accident and offered no kind of support neither monetary or physically.... he didn't even come visit me, So I had lost my job and what I thought was a friend (my boss), I fought within myself the battle of trying to get even with him and teach him a lesson some how about how he should have had workers comp and such, but it all led to the same thing, unwanted stress and tears. It's really hard to forgive some one who you know has wronged you deeply, but the constant tugging of the thought of "getting even" on ones heart and soul is exhausting and somewhat tormenting. I don't know how many nights I could not sleep because I was angry and hateful because I was forced to be bed ridden, unable to walk and I didn't even ask for this to happen, and the person responsible had nothing to offer me... not even an "I'm sorry". Several weeks went by like this and after a very emotional conversation with my dad about the right thing to do I finally let it go. I let God take control of the situation, I let Him take that battle that was raging on inside my heart, and I forgave the wrong that had been done to me. The emotion that came after was like I had been under a huge weight and it had suddenly been lifted from me, and I no longer felt that anger or the hate that seemed relentless.
Looking back on that moment, I wonder If I would have ever learned that lesson minus all the physical hurt, the surgery's, and the humbling of my pride..... or is it in fact the reason for this accident....God's own way to show me the powerful meaning of forgiveness, and being humble?
The healing process the body goes through after a serious trauma is amazing! Despite the negativity it has caused I have learned so much, its like I got a refresher course in human anatomy, its quite fascinating. So its been 8 months since the last knee surgery and I am so close to reaching my goal of 130 degrees of flexion. Though it will not be the normal range of 151, it's close, close enough so that my limitations are not too limited. :o) I am not looking forward to having to settle the whole workers comp thing in court... that has probably been the most stressful thing is dealing with financial issues and the lack of support from the people that are supposed to help someone in my situation and the fact that it is completely out of my control drives me insane. It's kinda like our whole future depends on the outcome of this trial, we want so badly to move on with our married life, to start a family, which means we have to get a bigger house, but because we have exhausted our savings to pay for my medical needs we are relying on the money we are supposed to be reimbursed to pay for a new home.... its very aggravating actually, but on a good note the end is coming soon. Praise God for that and for His strength during this process. 
